Dorothy, the typical online publisher, sat with her notebook, Chromo, watching the family site disappear from all of the search engine rankings as a tornado of changes pushed and pulled the various SERPs causing traffic to disappear. She had dealt with major algorithm changes in the past, but now there were maps and social media inserts and site previews and multiple listings of branded sites to contend with, and Aunty Em’s online business was dying. Frustrated and exhausted, she fell asleep as the storm swirled around her.
Upon waking she found she was no longer in the safety of the open source, transparent web world. How had she arrived here, in this interactive social realm? And how was she to escape? All around her, there was a buzz and commotion, and as she focused through the noise, Dorothy started to notice the little people surrounding her. “Ding, dong, the Tweet is dead,” they chanted, pointing to the large blue bird crushed by an old desktop computer. “Which old Tweet?” she asked. “The Promoted Tweet,” they replied, “it’s gone where the self promoted tweets all go.”
As Dorothy was taking all this in, she noticed the bird had a book-sized flat object under one wing.
Suddenly, a maroon smoke erupted and a young man towered over the gathered multitude of teen and preteens. “That is my iPad,” he rumbled. “I will have it and all the products the might Apple thinks it controls.”
But before he could grab it, a druid-like figure appeared and dominantly grabbed the item and handed it to Dorothy. “Use this wisely,” Tim Berners-Lee told her. “This and platforms like it represent the future of the web”, he whispered in her ear. “If you are to succeed in your quest you must understand how best to interact with its users.”
The Big Z looked confusedly at the good founder of the web, thinking his ideas were outdated and no longer had a place in this world. But, he was also a little frightened, he did not Like the harsh light of open access. “I will get you my pretty,” he said as he disappeared into his closed off sytem, “and your little notebook too.”
Dorothy did not know what to make of all this, she had never worked with mobile platforms, and had no idea how she would get out of this closed social realm. Looking to the good founder, she asked how was she to get back to her world.
“You must find the Wizard of Search,” she was told, as Tim became fully transparent and vanished.
Turning to the munchkins, Dorothy asked how was she to find the wizard. In a harmonious communal voice they said, “Follow the Local Listings, big brands can’t compete with you if you just follow location listings.”
So Dorothy, turned on her iPad and started a mapping program whose arrows showed the direction of where the Wizard of Search resided. With Chromo looking suspiciously at the iPad now sharing space in his laptop bag, Dorothy set out on her journey.
Not far in to her journey, Dorothy came across a field where she heard a whimper. It was not a dominant voice and at first was hard to find. Eventually she discovered its source hidden among the tall grass. It was a straw dog. One that had, surprisingly, a voice. It was muttering dejectedly, not whimpering as she first thought. “If I only had a brain,” the straw dog lamented.
He jumped when he noticed Dorothy, but could not get far as he was chained and had limited reach. “What do you want,” he asked defensively. “I am Bing, one of the beasts of Redmond. Stand back is the decision you should make,” he quickly added.
Dorothy reached down and unchained Bing, but noticed the Facebook name on a feed bag nearby. “Why are you using Facebook,” she asked.
“Its feed,” Bing replied.
“There is something evil about Facebook,” Dorothy said with a shiver of rememberance of her meeting. “Do you not see that the feed can weaken you. If it shows how it can answer decisions you are needed for, soon they will not come to you.”
“I knew there was something wrong with the feed but I do not have a brain,” Bing explained. “I so need a brain to fully grasp this search thing.”
“Well I am on my way to see the Wizard of Search,” Dorothy informed him. “Perhaps he can help find you a brain.”
“Really!” exclaimed Bing. “I know with a brain I could really be helping others with their decisions. My thinking could be so much more effective, if I could only make better decisions myself.”
I could wile away the hours
conferrin’ with new powers
It would be such new terrain
And my data I’d be sortin’
As my code was busy portin’
If I only had a brain
I’d unravel any riddle
For any individ’le
Nor seen with such disdain
(Dorothy)
With the data you could ogle
You could be another Google
If you only had a brain
(Bing)
Oh, I could tell you why
The ocean’s near the shore
I could search of things I never searched before
And then I’d crawl and search some more
I would not be just a nuffin’
My results all full of stuffin’
My efforts full of pain
I would have an engine mighty
With a search share not so flighty
If I only had a brain
Humming along, the two entered the competitive terrain of shared deals, recommendations and privacy issues.
Soon they saw a large house built with coupons. Outside stood a golden robot frozen in disbelief, perhaps because it was denied entry into the house. Bing seemed a little intimidated by the golden figure, Dorothy noticed.
As she approach it, Dorothy heard a whisper. “Sell me something,” it said. “I need an acquisition.”
Dorothy consulted her iPad and saw that Phonetic Arts was available. When she informed him of this, the robot smiled and quickly grabbed up the speech synthesis firm and now could talk with a deep bold voice. “That is so much better,” it entoned, taking both Bing and Dorothy by surprise.
“What was wrong with you,” th
e diminutive webmaster asked.
“It was the shock of being rebuffed,” the Gbot explained. “My acquisition offers are never turned down. And I need them to continue moving forward. My original product was such a hit, that my ongoing desire for success did not allow my heart to grow.”
“It died a long time ago,” Gbot lamented.
Dorothy told him they were off to see the wizard. “The wonderful Wizard of Search,” she said with a smile.
“I have heard of him,” Gbot said, adding, “would you mind if I came along? He may know how I can get a new heart.”
Bing was sceptical, but Dorothy convinced him this might help everyone.
The three were consulting the iPad for further directions, when Chromo started buzzing. His screen warned of an approaching Carolly lioness.
“Okay, which one of you employees leaked our internal memos?” the purple lioness roared, as she blocked the groups path. “I’ll dropkick to fucking Mars whoever did these leaks,” she growled menacingly.
Seeing Bing hesitate, she sprang at him. “Is that you Arrington? you are involved in a very tiny company. It probably takes a long time to even convince yourself what the hell to do. So fuck off!”
“Move back,” Dorothy said, jumping to Bing’s defense. The lioness cowered away, muttering swaer words as she went.
Dorothy was shocked to hear such things and her stock of the purple lioness dropped dramatically. Bing, on the otherhand, was warming to her and thought a partnership could be made to offset the strong influence of the heartless golden takeover machine.
“I seem to always be too fearful to make bold moves and I operate on the back foot,” she explained retreating from the group as she did. “If only I had some courage, I’m sure the pride would be so much more stable.”
“Join us on our journey and maybe the Wizard can help you,” Bing suggested, not disclosing his intentions of an alliance. And off they set again.
Soon they had arrived at the campus of Stanford. Home of the mysterious Wizard of Search. The lion and Gbot felt comfortable here; it held a certain familiarity. But Bing and Dorothy were uncertain and went along with the suggestion of the other two to visit the MIS department.
Upon entering the right building, all eyes where drawn to the large plasma screen in the common area and the large Orwellian head speaking out to the assembled people. Many were in a line, waiting to ask the head a question.
“Will the algorithm ever be transparent,” was the question being asked by an SEO.
“Not in your life time,” the voice answered with just a wisp of sarcasm, then suddenly turn its head in the direction of the group. “Dorothy and friends, you have arrived finally. I hear you are seeking my help.”
“Yes,” Dorothy replied timidly from the back of the room. “I need to get home and my friends have needs we were hoping you could help them with.”
“I can help you all, but first I need you to do something for me. Bring me the Like Button from Facebook headquarters,” the wizard told them.
The group looked at each other, curiously, fearfully and a little surprised. They did not think they would have to continue their quest. In particular, Dorothy remembered the threats and was more than a little scared. “Is this even possible?” she asked the group and the authoritative display.
“Yes,” he replied. “It is held in a removeable hard drive in their headquarters on the other side of the bay. “The big Z is never certain what elements he will retain in his network, so has made them all detachable. But beware once you have entered the closed system – it knows much more about you than you would think.” And with that the screen went blank and the group was left with their challenge.
“Well this damn adventure has not yet ended,” the purple prosed one swore.
“How can we pull this off?” Dorothy enquired of the group. “How can we distract the millions of minions Facebook has at their command?”
Bing answered that he had made some friends while he was chained in the fields who might be of help. “The Mechanical Turks they called themselves,” he told them. “But I have no idea how we can use them. Individually, they had little power, but as a group they may be a force.”
“I never got the chance to gather enough to help free me,” Bing added.
“Yeah I know those disrupters well,” Gbot said. “They are from all over, come at you from so many angles, it is hard to counter their mischief.”
“Yes they have been mentioned a lot by questioners of the pride,” the lioness noted.
Dorothy smiled as an idea came to her. “I think I have a way we can distract them,” she said. “There are a few flaws in recent additions to Facebook that we could take advantage of,” she pointed out.
So after laying out a plan, the group set off for their destination, as Dorothy typed madly on her iPad and Gbot employed Chromo to help with the efforts.
They had a plan and perhaps it could work, but many people had underestimated Facebook in the past. Starting with the twins and one of his initial partners, many had fallen in to a false sense of security when dealing with the big Z.
The team arrived on the other side of Palo Alto and entered the doors of Facebook. The people, at first seemed preoccupied, mooving about the vast space. But, there was one set of eyes watching them from a cubilce sitting amid so many others like it, eyes that took them in, assessing them all for weakness or vunerablities.
“I figured I would not need the monkeys, you would come willingly,” the voice of Facebook spoke, as people turned to the group now. “So you were the ones who hacked our ‘tag your friends to join a group’ program,” he said in a louder voice.
More people began to take notice of these new faces in their space, while at the same time a new virus attack seems to be starting as the warning tone informed them. One by one they were drawn to their desks inundated with sign-ups and postings to links with malware and flooding members with group autojoins and also hundreds of millions of Likes.
“Seems the monkeys were unemployed,” the lioness answered bravely. The Carollly lioness smiled to see Answers was being used to promote Facebook content too. Meanwhile, the others watched as each assault was dealt with by their assigned programmers and customer reps and security people. It was the security people they really took notice of, and saw where each group would congregate.
There inside each group was the button that maintained its presence in Facebook and its connection to each member who used that specific channel. Dorothy had followed the clever idea of Bing, bringing in the micro distractions to keep the Facebook minions busy and get them to disclose the location of the Like button.
Dorothy, Bing and the lioness gathered in front of the big Z.
“So you have decided to challenge my growing influence. I told you Dorothy that I would get you and your notebook,” Z mocked. “And now I will take that iPad.”
Dorothy placed the iPad in its generic ‘one size fits all tablets’ case and dropped it in to her laptop bag, hiding a knowing smile.
“Apple was clever,” Z explained. “They started their iContent pods as closed loop technology – desktop connections pulling popular data and providing the convenience of portability.”
“But why do you need the iPad,” Dorothy asked.
“It has popular portability and simplicity and allows a deeper link to our platform,” Z continued. “The iPhone was a start and we employed their API to create an easy to use app of our major features. We never would have gotten so viral without it.”
“But now with the wireless access built in to the new version of the iPad we can establish a deeper connection. One that can convince users to go deeper and deeper in to our closed silo of content,” he said laughing.
Z extended his hand beckoning Dorothy to hand over the iPad.
Dorothy reached in to her laptop bag and handed over the generic case, thinking would they be able to go now, quickly.
Z was becoming increasingly focused on the activity around him, but he knew Gbot and Bing were interested in what was happening too. “The little Turks are a nuisance but not serious, they have been on our radar for some time. We will filter them out quick enough.”
Chromo flashed a map back to Stanford and Dorothy discretely nodded to the others, indicating it was time to get out of there.
As the group exited the headquarters, Z looked up, noticing them gone and quickly checked that the case containing the iPad was still on his desk. They can run, he thought, we can get them later and returned to dealing with his other pesks.
Hurriedly they returned to see the Wizard, and raced through the building to find him. The next daily broadcast would start shortly and they wanted to get to him before it started. The team had pulled of their task. Gbot had grabbed the Like button while everyone was busy and Dorothy had used sleight of hand to give Z a Kindle in the same looking case. He would be raging when this was discovered, but hopefully he will be too busy reprogramming a Like option that was not too spammy.
In the corner of the faculty lounge sat a diminutive man hunched over a large laptop. The audio track sounded like the static that opened the Wizard’s messages. The group exchanged looks as they realized this was the actual wizard… the man behind the digital curtain.
“Bill Gross,” Dorothy stated. “You are the wizard?”
“Yes, I have been re-examining the web for years and felt this was a good way to gather the questions and problems its users are having,” he told them.
“But why did you need us to go to Facebook?” the lioness pressed him to answer, “and how is this helping us with what we need?”
“Your journey had not ended until you had conquered the problems of Facebook. Each needed the experience to get what you sought,” Gross told them.
“I see you have returned,” Tim Berners-Lee stated as he entered the room. “Bill perhaps I can let our friends know how they have gained what they needed.”
“Lioness, you have shown courage and the ability to work with others. With these new skills you will be able to better assess what the pride really needs and make the bold moves to grow,” he said. “Bing, your intelligent contributions made success possible. Focused you show the power to overcome your problems and I notice an alliance already forming that could prove a very smart move.”
“Gbot, you may have has the hardest challenge of all. But by concentrating on the task at hand, you completely forgot your need for acquisitions. You showed heart and did not use any ‘evil’ actions to complete the journey,” Tim explained.
“But what about me?” Dorothy asked. “How am I to get home?”
“Dorothy, have always had the ability to go home,” he told her. “You just need to concentrate on your home page. Redirect the distractions and tap the iPad. Reload the homepage is all that was required,” he replied.
“Dorothy stay with us,” Bing pleaded. “There is so much you can show us. The user experience is as mysterious to us, as the algorithm is to you.”
“No I need to get back. Aunty Em and the others need me; they are not tech savvy and have been distracted trying to monetize social media. I must let them know we have to concentrate on what I have seen works,” Dorothy told him.
“That is why we wanted the Like button. We know they will replace it, but even a small break may show how really distracting and dangerous it is to a free web,” the wizard added.
“I will leave this device for you to deal with,” Dorothy said, as she placed it on the table and tapped it twice.
Stepping back, she said “reload the homepage, redirect the homepage, the domain is the homepage,” and suddenly she was no longer there.
Dorothy woke to find that she had fallen asleep over the keyboard of her MacPro, with her new Crome netbook open beside it.
“Now that was a dream,” she smiled.
